My knee might be broken. It's hard to tell right now, but I limp like a sucker. Am I the only person who gets crazy when they're hurt? I feel more invincible than ever when I'm in pain.

For the last two days I've been limping around, and all I want to do is fight someone three times my size. I'm the hero of the movie, beaten down and angrier than ever. I'm saving up all my wise-ass comments for the big fight. I'm drunk on nonsense. I should probably go to the doctor. I should probably take some of the painkillers I've got kicking around, at least. Instead, I'm gonna go find a fight. I'm gonna crank call the devil. "Hello, Satan? Is your fridge running? I heard you were a woman."

How come people are so quick to jump on question the traditional gender assignment of God, but nobody ever claims Satan was a girl? It hurt to stand in the shower, this morning, but I have to stay pretty. I have to make sure I don't let everyone down.